#OnTheList with Xtine is a weekly feature from Fresh 102.7’s Christine Richie that will be highlighting all things music and more, from her favorite emerging artists, top female vocalists, and much, much more!
There’s a current Citibank commercial that I love: two people are on a date and being completely honest with each other. At the end of the night he says, “We’re never going to see each other again are we?” She answers with “No.” Isn’t that better than an empty, “I’ll call you” when he knows full well he won’t? I think so.
I am one of those rare people who wishes this would be our reality. I’ve been told I’m brutally honest (I’d have to agree), but that’s because I want the same from others. I mean, there are a few exceptions; perhaps don’t say, “You look terrible today.” That’s a time when you could maybe massage the truth a bit. When it comes to relationships involving love or friendship, I prefer honesty.
When you’re someone who suffers from anxiety, as I do, limbo is hell for you. It leaves your mind racing with all the questions it leaves. Did this person have fun with me? What do they think of me? Was I interesting, funny, smart, [fill in the blank] enough? It goes on and on until you hear from them. If you don’t, then the questions start about what you did to make that happen, as well as all the things you could’ve changed to get a different outcome. I think people who don’t suffer this way find it very easy to say things they don’t mean.
I also understand the truth is difficult for some. I’ve asked lots of my guy friends why say you’re going to get in touch when you won’t? Their answer is usually, “it’s just easier for me in the moment and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.” They don’t get that waiting and waiting only to be blown off hurts way worse than knowing it’s never going to happen. There’s a bit of torture in starting off with hope, then doubt, then disappointment. Plus it takes up way more head space than just knowing it’s done. It’s easier and less painful to just cut your losses and move on. It’s much harder to recover from a lie. There’s a bit of disrespect that comes with them, where as honesty can cut deep but at least you don’t feel deceived and left questioning everything.
It’s not just with people you date though, it happens with friends, co-workers, you name it. So I say, strive to say what you mean and don’t make promises if you can’t keep them. A promise by definition is a guarantee that you’ll do something. Don’t use that word lightly. I think some of us could benefit from a little more honesty so here are some songs for inspiration.
Kodaline – “Honest”
“Say what it is you’re trying to say but if you lie to me again, I’ll be the one that’s walking away. Is it in you to be honest?”
The Neighbourhood – “Honest”
“Why’d you stick around, why’d you stay with me? Why’d you fake it?”
Kelly Clarkson – “Honestly”
“Would you face me? Make me listen to the truth even if it breaks me? You can judge me, love me. If you’re hating me, do it honestly.”
Foster the People – “The Truth”
“And I surrender the truth is what I’ve needed from you. I’ve been floating within your walls of opinion and I’m tired, I only want the truth.”
Ryn Weaver – “Promises”
“I cross my heart and hope to die, unless I happen to lie, I never meant to break my own promises.”
Incubus – “Promises, Promises”
“So promise me only one thing would you? Just don’t ever make me promises… No promises, no promises.”
Dawes – “To Be Completely Honest”
“I never really thought it’d be so hard to be completely honest.”
Jason Mraz – “Be Honest”
“My love is unconditional, make no mistake, I don’t ask for much, just be honest with me.”
Can’t have a list about honesty without this classic…
Billy Joel – “Honesty”
“But if you look for truthfulness, you might just as well be blind. It always seems to be so hard to give.”
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