Our previous list of the Top 10 Love Songs That Always Work may not always work for you (but I promise they won’t do any major damage). These ten songs, on the other hand, are like inviting your boss to your house for an intimate Valentine’s Day Dinner for three.
They’re not exactly known for their aphrodisiac qualities.
#10. Air Supply – “Making Love Out of Nothing at All”
Play this song on V-Day and you’ll be making a bed out of two kitchen chairs and a folded up parka.
#9. America – “Muskrat Love”
I’m an America fan and even I know better. “Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam.” Thirty years hence and I still don’t get it.
#8. Andy Willliams – “The Theme From Romeo and Juliet (Where Do I Begin)”
OK to play if your Valentine is your Mom.
#7. Anne Murray – “I Just Fall in Love Again”
However, it will not be with you.
#6. Bonnie Tyler – “Total Eclipse of the Heart”
As you can see, this song does not include “love” in the title. Don’t let that give you a false sense of security: it will dampen the mood like a snowball in your drawers.
#5 Climax Blues Band – “I Love You”
Are you familiar with these guys? They rocked. But not here.
#4 Bruce Springsteen – “Tunnel of Love”
From the same album that included “Brilliant Disguise,” this is a bad song briliantly disguised as something by Bruce Springsteen. To to this day, I’m convinced this is actually [lastfm link_type=”artist_info”]John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band[/lastfm].
#3. Chicago – “Will You Still Love Me?”
Not if you play this song, I won’t.
#2. Edison Lighthouse – “Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes”
Unless your honey’s named Rosemary (or you’re still wearing platform shoes and Jordache jeans), this one absolutely will not work.
#1. Ian & Sylvia – “The Jealous Lover”
Someone dies here, I’m pretty sure, and that’s just the beginning of the problem. Sylvia’s tortured voice will kill any and all libido within a 50-mile radius.
So bad, it’s not even on YouTube.
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