Lady Gaga’s Ol’ Man Has New NYC Restaurant Slammed by Critic Steve Cuozzo

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"I hope you don't plan on serving that meat hat for dinner." - Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

“I hope you don’t plan on serving that meat hat for dinner.” – Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

Day one at New York City’s newest and most talked about restaurant, Joanne Trattoria, is in the books and the reviews (or shall we say lone review) is less than mediocre.

What was all the pre-opening hype about? Well the restaurant is owned by Art Smith, the patriarch responsible for the inception of our Mother Monster, Lady Gaga.

With reservations in the 70-seat restaurant booked into early March, food critic Steve Cuozzo was able to squeeze himself in for a meal that he sorely regrets.

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Joanne Trattoria, which is chef Smith’s first incursion into New York City dining, features “traditional Italian dishes with a touch of Southern soul.”

After reading Cuozzo’s review, it appears the “soul” in question is possessed and in need of an exorcism.

The busboys serve a concoction of sparkling and stillwater while Poppa Art is left to bus tables in a dining area that Cuozzo describes as smelling of “acrid-smelling burnt vinegar.”

Ummm, maybe that helps keep the flies away.

Ambiance and odor aside, how was the food, Steve-O?

“Grilled calamari with bitter greens and radicchio were the worst I’ve had in a lifetime of squid-mongering, the salad unseasoned and the calamari like leather. One-note orecchiette with shellfish recalled the flaccid pasta commonly doled out along Long Island’s Jericho Turnpike — or at 35,000 feet.”

Yikes.

But if we’re looking for some positives to help build their confidence and take the necessary steps to improve, we can look at the lone high note of the night.

Tony Bennett was there.

Just a shame he’s a crooner and not a cook.


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