Wouldn’t It Be Great to Make a New Year’s Resolution for SOMEONE ELSE?!
One of the best things that ever happened to me in my career was meeting my partner Jim. I say that with all the sincerity in my heart.
We have been working together almost 11 years as partners… and this morning we decided to make New Year’s resolutions for each other (tongue firmly planted in cheek)… and let you guys vote on which one we should have to stick to!
First up, Jim had three resolutions for me…
1) Kim will limit her daily word count to 1 gigabyte. This does not include breaths or pauses, if she should ever take one…As a favor to her…this does not include words she says in her sleep.
2) She will promise not to show us any more of her bruises from Krav Maga, her Israeli hand to hand combat…no matter how proud she is of them, the intimate story of how it happened or how she promises never to date the man from her class who gave it to her.
3) Kim will only date men over the age of 30…they can’t be aspiring to be anything…they must already be it and have found a career (Ie., NO musicians, dancers, actors, naked cowboys).
Gail called to weigh in on which of these resolutions I should have to stick to…
Then it was my turn to make resolutions for Jim…
1) Jim will cut back a bit on his flirting…This includes not naming any plants after co-workers or attempting to speak broken Spanish to the waitress at El Coyote. You may be a gentleman and compliment a woman on her outfit…you may not use the word ensemble or ask her where she bought her shoes, you may open doors but cannot run a full city block to do so.
2) Jim will only eat ripened bananas in the studio…this means anything with slight brown spots are acceptable…anything with any kind of black color or that squirts through the seams when you peel it is unacceptable.
3) Jim will only work out to movies starring one of the following manly actors…Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, Vin Diesel (not the babysitting movie) or Jean-Claude Vandam….Some of the requirements of those action movies…a body count, brief nudity, car chase scene, heavy weaponry and rock music only.
Although, Dorothy thought Jim should be slightly less gross in the New Year…
If you could make a New Year’s resolution for someone, who are thay and what would the resolution be? Call ’em out here in the comments section below!
Read More On Fresh1027.com:
- T-Pain will Move to Australia if Donald Trump Becomes President, Probably
- Justin Timberlake is Making a Concert Film
- David Bowie, Flaming Lips, T.I. to Write Songs for SpongeBob Musical
- Relive All of Miley Cyrus’s Outrageous Outfits From The MTV VMAs
- The Weeknd Says Lana Del Rey is the ‘Girl in My Music’
- Now You Can Learn To Sing Like Christina Aguilera, By Christina Aguilera!
- 25 Minutes A Day Could Extend Our Lives By 7 Years
- Five Reasons Kanye West Should Run for President Now, Bro!
- 5 Seconds Of Summer’s Ashton Irwin Chips His Tooth, While Drumming
- Robin Thicke: “‘I Can’t Feel My Face’ Is My Favorite Song of the Summer”