This New Diet Is Forking Impossible

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"Fork You, France!"

“Fork You, France!”

South Beach, Atkins, Dukan… We’ve all seen weird diet fads whirlwind into popularity. (Only to fall by the wayside when we promise to have ‘just ONE M&M’)

But I bet you haven’t heard this before: the French “Le Forking” diet only allows foods you can eat with a fork. Too bad Elle Magazine claims, “no it’s not legal to grab a cheeseburger and gnaw.”

Darn it.

In theory, the diet seems semi-logical. High-starch foods like bread and fatty meats are off limits, while veggies are fair game.

But here’s the dirty little secret: the French don’t eat anything with a fork. Cake is prohibited, since the French eat desserts with spoons. Fruit is out, since apparently you eat fruit with your fingers. Eggs? ‘Of course not’ say the French; you eat eggs with a knife and/or spoon.

WAI YU NO UZE FORK FRANCE? I want my cake. Fruit is blatantly eaten with forks. And I demand to know why scrambled eggs/omelets are inaccessible.

These rules are ridiculous. Yeah, maybe I’ll go on the Forking diet. But only if I can spear McMuffins and gnaw them off the prongs. Screw you, Elle Magazine.

France: This is why you lose wars.

What do you think? Will you try the new fad diet? Comment!


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