5 Terrible Father’s Day Gift Ideas
Dad’s are really hard to buy for. “He never drops any hints!” “Whenever we ask he says it doesn’t matter!” Well, this is true. Ladies and children allow me to level with you: the reason guys are like this is because we spend all day long listening to your wants, needs and requests. When it comes time for us, thinking about buying more stuff is pretty much the last thing on the planet we want to do.
That said, while we appear un-fussy about gifts that will make us happy, it’s very easy to mess-up the gift giving side of the equation for boys. Here’s a good idea of what NOT to do if you’re stuck this Father’s Day:
Some of us have to wear ties to work, other occasions for wearing them are associated with bad memories: funerals, job interviews, our wives friends wedding’s… you get the picture. So the last thing we want to be reminded of on Father’s Day is one of the above events. If you simply have to go with an item of clothing, socks or a gaudy ill-fitting t-shirt that we can embarrass you with at a later date are better choices.
As we’ve already mentioned, we’re not the best shoppers in the world, so handing us a gift card and saying “Happy Father’s Day” is a little bit like handing us a speeding ticket: we know we’re going to end up having to spend more money than we’d like, as well as a Saturday morning somewhere we’d really rather not go. If you’re hell-bent on the gift card route (because we’re too stubborn to tell you what we really want) go with an online store and do the “ABBA” – Apple, Best Buy or Amazon – where we can browse and create wish lists to our hearts content without ever actually using the darn gift card.
A TV?! You shouldn’t have!! No, you really shouldn’t have. When it comes to big ticket electronic items (especially when working within a family budget) men love to research. Really, sometimes we enjoy the ‘wanting’ process more than the ‘having’ process. If we don’t get to have a say in the buying decision, we miss a crucial part of the experience which will lead us to adopting “that face” until further notice. Not to mention when you buy the wrong thing, we’re not going to take it back (remember our aversion to physical shopping) so we’ll spend the rest of the products lifespan feeling bad because we know you meant well, but you did mess-up and now we have to live with the consequences of your ill-informed purchase.
Example: you heard, “Flat Screen TV.” We meant “42” Panasonic 1080P LCD HD-TV.” Trust us, the 30″ Vizio 720 Plasma ain’t gonna cut it.
You’re absolutely right Dear, summer is here and it really would be lovely to sit outside and enjoy the warming weather… HOWEVER, you know how it goes: you’ll buy the chairs, table and umbrella and I’ll have to spend the morning putting it together. And let’s face it, no matter how much I pretend, I’m not very good at this sort of thing so I’m only going to get frustrated and end up with a bruised ego. This happens pretty much every other day of the year so could we try not to invite it on Father’s Day? Could we just go to the park? Better yet, let’s find an outdoor beer garden! Bonus points if burgers or nachos are readily available.
A new grill for Father’s Day is a bit like the ultimate combination of TV’s and Outdoor Furniture. You may as well be saying, “Here: build this product you didn’t want, then feed us!” No thank you. The only way this could even begin to appear appealing is if you’re also planning on delivering the top 25 finalists from Maxim magazine’s “Hometown Hotties” for us to impress with our mad grill skeelz. As this is highly unlikely, we’d rather be impressed with your choice of low-pressure restaurant environment where we can enjoy the people who mean the most to us: you and the rest of our family.